Alpha

All new blogs must have a first post, so this is mine.  I am not sure how much of this is going to make sense, but I need a place to write, to share, to vent, to grow, to find myself in all the chaos that surrounds me.  Why the name?  I have decided to name my life Penelope.  no, I am not suffering from multiple personalities or anything of the sort, rather, I have come to the realization that I am not my life.  Although they are hard to separate, I am not my mess. My life is Penelope and Penelope is an elephant.  She is huge, a bit smelly, in need of a bath, but she is mine, she is what God has given me, she is what I need to eat to improve the world around me.  Penelope is currently a disheveled mess.  I think about all the self-help things i have seen, the shows I have watched, the families I wish I could emulate, and there is nowhere in any of them that shows how they all started- from the beginning.  Clean House shows?  they show the mess, the crew brought in to clean up over the miracle weekend and then the big reveal...but nothing I have seen shows a family simply living in complete chaos and how they overcame it.  sure there are plenty in hindsight, but nothing 'in-progress'.  maybe that should have been my name-in-progress.  so here is to a beginning.  to a cleaner, organized, structured, driven life. to dishes washed on a regular basis.  to laundry folded and put away.  here is to late nights spent on stupid Internet games and husbands who love and support me anyway.